i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
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I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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