The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
