My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
