I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
from now on my penis is your penis
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
