I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
