So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
