therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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