i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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