I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
