just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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