I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
