I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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