oh god the rape fog is back!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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