butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
