and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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