I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
