just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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