Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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