So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
