Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
