I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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