the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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