i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize