Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
