i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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