You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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