You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
