I'm going to jail i love you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
