Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
