Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize