Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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