just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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