DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
