I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We need to get me chipped asap
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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