She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
