why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
