Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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