My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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