You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
