I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
