I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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