All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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