i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i would punch a child for taco bell
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
