I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
