I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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