Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
