; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
