sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dicks are not precious.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
