Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
