She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
