I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
