took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
