just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
