so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
