why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Shame - the story of my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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