just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
