He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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