Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
