There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
