Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
