I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
