carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
