I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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