She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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