Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
