The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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