Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
