Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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