she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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