i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize